I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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