Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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