You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
