did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
