Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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