At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
