so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
please come you make the beer taste better
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
In America we eat man semen.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
