If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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