sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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