I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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