Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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