sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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