I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
