the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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