my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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