he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
