Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
