You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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