you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize