Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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