You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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