"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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