dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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