I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
