I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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