She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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