It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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