Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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