just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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