We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
