just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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