if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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