Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
