Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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