I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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