Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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