ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
