I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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