i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize