She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
