all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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