matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
