i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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