Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
