Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
