my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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