Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"it" just moved
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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