omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
