Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
