And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
