is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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