One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
