So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
