his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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