Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
